Your Average Middle-Aged Rock-Star Mom Boss …

I’m so average. Sometimes I am sleepily boring. Crocheting is my fun sport.

I’m also 44 (again). My kids remind me that I’m nearly 44 (again) (again). I tell them that I base my love upon their flattery. At that moment of reminding me of my age, I have no love for my children.

Furthermore, I’m kind-of in an in-between being happy and complacently meh kind of mood lately. Like the emoji. I kind-of really know how it feels. Meh.

And I’m suppose to pack my home soon and move across the world. Well, again-again-again. It’s been a few times that I’ve made that hop across the ocean. Every time it seems to be with only suitcases. Yet we quickly fill homes. How does that happen?

But — the rock star is coming out, folks. Like the Yoga class I attend(ed) twice. But I did it — and I was like half awesome and could do some stuff and my belly did feel a bit more in shape after. My back creaked at the beginning quite loudly and only mildly at the end. And, to be honest, laying on the yoga mat at the finish of class, while the soothing voice of the instructor nearly put me to sleep, was my favorite part. But I rocked the two classes I attended. Like a middle-average-kind-of tried most moves rocked it.

I didn’t do the “Ooooom!”

My instructor, with all the true feels of a yoga master, she did the “Oooom!” It was loud and quite surprising. My giggling did not “Namaste” the moment.

The lady behind me did the “Ooooom!”

She frightened me in the best sort of way. She was twice my size and stature and she did every move. Including the moves that required balance. And she even climbed the walls (we weren’t spidey climbing — we were like 8-year-old gymnasts climbing). While I took the “Climb the walls” time to lay flat on my back and practice my sleeping … er … breathing … anywho — she was climbing the walls. Like doing things like handstands and foot placements and all sorts of dangerous for my health stuff that I just know would send me straight to the ER with a full concussion.

Yeah. The “Ooooming” lady. She was a rock star. My yoga instructor was a good 10 years my senior, and she ran yoga circles around me. She was a rock star.

Maybe there is really something to the “Ooooom” belly shouting after all? Or maybe it’s because they are actually dedicated more than just “twice” to, well, you know, staying in tip-top yoga shape.

On my middle-aged journey, I also recently went hiking in the nearby desert mountains. I brought an entire bottle of water. I drank it before half of my hike was up. I mean — we went UPHILL! And I had to sit at the first possible bench sighting. I also had to loudly question my husband “I thought you brought me on the easy hike?!” To which he replied, “We are on the easy hike.”

Why isn’t all hiking downhill only? You know what sport I might actually succeed at? Ski Jumping. I mean, it’s a lift that gets you up there, right? Then all you have to do is ski a little, jump, and land.

But that is an entirely different story, right? Landing!

Speaking of landing — I also recently went sledding with my kids. The teenagers built a jump. I am not quite a toboggan master, but I managed to hit the jump each time on the sled.

In the background of the videos, as my awesome sledding was being recorded, I could hear my friend going, “Hospital, hospital, hospital,” each time I jumped. I am fairly certain he thought we would be taking me to the??? You guessed it! Hospital!

I think he was thrilled when the day’s eve graced the skies and I was still in one piece.

One piece after sledding.

You know how I should have ended the sledding adventure? With a HUGE “Ooooooom!”

I may not balance. I may not climb walls. I may not make it without grumbling up the hiking hill — but I can still sled. With my kids. And not end up in the hospital.

Although — being in the hospital, resting, would give me a lot of time to crochet. And, you know, that is my favorite sport of all.

“Don’t try to be young. Just open your mind. Stay interested in stuff. There are so many things I won’t live long enough to find out about, but I’m still curious about them. You know people who are already saying, ‘I’m going to be 30 — oh, what am I going to do?’ Well, use that decade! Use them all!” Betty White